>Shopping LIst Phobia

>Driving on a fine June morning in my little sister’s car through my old stomping ground of San Diego’s early morning traffic, I listened to my favorite morning DJs, Jeff & Jer (apparently no longer of Star 100.7 fame, but Star 94.1), laugh riotously over a website that simply has posted found grocery lists. Now, at the outset this sounded rather boring, but I have to tell you that they are honestly quite funny and monstrously more telling than one would think. BUT the drawback is that I now have a hideous case of grocery list inhibition. I begin writing out things… milk, bread, curry powder, 40 watt bulbs, allspice, diced tomatoes… and suddenly I’m objectively hearing the list read in Jer’s voice, comic quips inserted. In my grocery listing system, optional items have always had question marks next to them – but what does Jer think when he sees philodendron? and epsom salts? across from havarti cheese and nasal spray? So I furtively change things to code words, short phrases designed to hide the embarrassing or potentially jokeworthy items, and I desperately cling to my list in the store so as not to one day see it on grocerylists.org. Upon leaving the store I plunge the list into the utter recesses of a garbage can…which is shooting myself in the foot since I write the weekly menu I planned at the top of the list and nowhere else.

Can anyone relate to this?

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